So You're Afraid? Good

We all have felt that heart-throbbing pain in our chest when fear overtakes our body. It can be debilitating and overwhelming. The cold-sweat, shaky legs and heart palpitations are enough to stop anyone in their tracks and retreat to safety.

But what if you were able to shift your perspective, and instead of viewing fear as a weakness, you could use it to propel you into the life you've envisioned. By leaning into the fear and facing it head-on, we become empowered and gain back control. If we can use fear as fuel, it becomes our strength and motivator rather than a hindrance.

If our thoughts create our reality and we choose to let fear overtake our mind, then we will find ourselves constantly closed off to new opportunities, friendships and life lessons. When fear dictates our decision-making process, then we give it all the power. You become powerless in your own life!

Don’t become a slave to 'what-ifs', 'should've, could've, would've' and 'I wish' scenarios.

I want to show you how to shift your mindset of fear - after all, our perception of situations, outcomes, and risks are created by our past memories and beliefs formed when we were young. Most of our fears are something we learn over time, either through experience or society. This is good because, for thousands of years, we have been able to stay alive and run away from life-threatening danger. But now, most of those fears no longer serve us.

The good news is that with the proper tools, you can analyze where these fears stem from and if they help or hinder you. With this step by step process, you can learn to manage your fears. Become empowered and understand that there are expansive possibilities when we push through the fear and learn to embrace the unknown.

First Step: Become Aware of Your Fear.

Acknowledging that you are afraid or uncomfortable allows you to gain some control over the situation and outcome. Is your fear a legitimate cause for survival? If so, GTFO. But most likely your fears stem from the ego - trying to keep you safe and secure in a little bubble of comfort.

Common Fears People Face:

• Fear of failure

• Fear of success

• Fear of the unknown

• Fear of being rejected

• Fear of being judged

• Fear that you're not enough

• Fear of losing control

The list goes on and on. Trust me, I have experienced all of them, as I am sure almost every reader has. This is normal. And what is important for you to remember, is that it is OK. Choose to see these fears through love and be gentle with yourself. Your ego is trying to protect you from getting hurt, it is not your enemy. Rather, see your ego as a loving friend that just wants to keep you safe. But safety isn't always the best option. If we chose to play safe and avoid risk, society wouldn't be where we are today. Become a calculated risk-taker and learn when it is good to push past the fear.

So how do we know what type of fear we face? Once you feel the fear creep in, take a pause, clear your mind, and breathe. Meditate on it. And if meditation isn't your thing, that's ok too. Just stop what you are doing and take 5 deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then ask yourself "why am I afraid?". Is it a made-up belief or memory that triggered unresolved feelings? Maybe we don't have enough information and the unknown is intimidating. Or possibly our mind starts thinking about all of the negative outcomes that might take place.

Separate yourself from the fear and realize that it is not you. Your fear is not the absolute truth unless you make it so. Talk about it out loud or write it down. Ask yourself "what is the worst that can happen?", but then ask yourself "what is the best that can happen?". Sure you could fail and make a fool of yourself, in fact, you probably will a few times - maybe a few hundred times. But that is the beauty of life.

Fear teaches us a valuable lesson. People are not fearless because they've never experienced it. They are fearless because they pushed through it. They used it to fuel their desires and outcome. Is your fear greater than the possible outcome? Ask yourself what you're willing or able to lose. What type of life do you want to live? What kind of impact or person do you want to become? What risks are you willing to take? Be honest with yourself and don't let anyone else answer for you. If you want to live a life outside of the ordinary, you're going to have to face your fears. Get excited about them! Predict them ahead of time so it isn't so intimidating. You're entering a growth phase with limitless potential.

So you've become aware of your fear and its meaning. You've been able to see it from a different perspective. Great! But then what? Learning and visualizing about it is one thing, but putting it into action is a whole new type of ... well ... fear. So here's the trick. Start small. Overcoming years of a fear-based mindset takes patience and practice. We've become so ingrained and supported by our community to foster our fears. By taking baby steps, we can slowly get used to the discomfort. Whatever your fear is, find out one small and immediate action you can do and commit. Do it each day if you can, just one small action that initiates that fear mode. Keep moving forward and challenging yourself until it no longer scares you. Then, ask what's next.

Tools to Push Through Fear:

• Have an accountability partner or way to make yourself follow through.

• Prepare for possible fears by understanding it is inevitable. Write any outcomes and obstacles from the beginning that you feel you may face. Fortune favors the prepared.

• Say affirmations in the mirror out loud. Things such as "I am strong and powerful. I am worthy and capable. I am enough. My struggles are opportunities to grow. I can handle anything that comes my way".

• Reward yourself by acknowledging the fact that you did an amazing job. Regardless of how small the feat was, it was still an incredible accomplishment.

• Start taking cold showers. It's a way to make you uncomfortable and realize that you have the power. Just 30 seconds will mentally prepare you for uncomfortable and shocking situations.

• Talk about it with supportive friends and family. Make sure they have your best interest at heart and want to see you succeed. Surround yourself with people trying to build you up and encourage you - people that you aspire to be like and mentors in the space.

• Educate yourself. We get more fearful of the unknown so do your research on the facts to calm your anxieties.

• Visualize success. When you see yourself overcoming the fear, you have that inner voice as a cheerleader. Visualize what your life could be like if you didn't let fear stand in the way.

There are many situations that evoke fear and are completely out of your control. Life throws curve balls and presents us with challenges each day. No one is exempt from pain nor fear. We all face it - some more than others. But understand that you can control your reaction. No one can take that power from you.

So next time you are afraid, realize that you are a force to be reckoned with and smile. Because you have been presented with a grand opportunity to prove to yourself that you are worth it. Fake it until you make it if you need. But understand that fear can be an important step in the right direction. Growth happens when you are out of your comfort zone. So you're afraid? Good.

Live life fearless by choosing love.